This topic has come up a bunch recently, both for me and for the wife. She wrote a very well worded post on Facebook, that I’ll share here: (minor edits for capitalization, and a couple commas)
“Just want to clear something up for those who have asked and for those who are wondering. Just because my husband now identifies as a woman… this doesn’t magically make me a lesbian. It makes me a committed partner who still loves and will always love the ‘person’ I married. In this process I still need to be true to who I am and I am a heterosexual woman. I do understand that from the outside we will appear to be a loving lesbian couple, and I’m okay with that. I have pride in the love I share with Jessica, but I have no desire to take away the pride gay people have in their identity. I feel that would be untrue to myself and disprespectful to them.” – Teresa
For myself, I have long thought I was attracted to women only. To the point of actually being afraid of being perceived as being attracted to males. Since accepting myself though, I’ve realized I’m open to the idea of finding males attractive. That doesn’t necessarily mean I will, but the change in how I think of myself has opened this door. I do find myself looking now, and I really really liked it when that one guy smiled at me at the mall. 🙂 And just because I might find a male attractive at some point, does not mean I forsake my monogamy. It just means I can fantasize about something different every now and then. lol.
The questions about sexual orientation, or sexuality, don’t bother me at all. They do, however, bother Teresa. It’s a by-product of what we’re going through, and an unfortunate one. Ask yourself how many times a day you get asked about your sexual orientation. I’m guessing not that much. How would you feel if you were asked once, twice, or several times a day? It’s a personal thing. And is it really that important to know? Does an answer one way or the other change how you think about Teresa or me?
I also will not going into any detail about our sexuality. Suffice to say, we are still intimate, and happy being so.
Everyone should be well aware that Teresa and I love each other. If we didn’t, we would not be committed to each other through my (and our) transition. Why does there have to be a label for it? Maybe Teresa is just a ‘Jessica-sexual’. 🙂
– Jess
I think it's important for people to take a moment and remember that while Jessica is putting herself out to the world, that does not mean that Teresa has signed some sort of agreement to do the same. Human curiosity is one thing, but human compassion is still essential. <3
Exactly Sara. I'm curious what people do behind closed doors too, but I don't go asking everyone.
That being said, I have put myself out there, and I do not mind answering any questions. But that's me, not the wife.