This issue has come up recently, so I decided to vent on here about it.
Being transgender is not a lifestyle choice.
While the cause is not known for certain, there are varying theories on the cause. The one I’m inclined to believe, is the one that is seeming to be true for me.
From Wikipedia: Psychological and biological causes for transgender outcomes have been proposed, i.a. by professor Dick Swaab, with evidence leaning toward prenatal and genetic causes. One such proposed cause is related to the bed nucleus of a stria terminalis, or BSTc, a constituent of the basal ganglia of the brain which is affected by prenatal androgens. In one study, the BSTc of trans women was similar to those of cisgender women whose psychological gender identity and assigned sex are the same. However, those of both heterosexual and homosexual men were similar to each other but different from those of women (both cis- and trans).Another study suggests that being transgender may have a genetic component. There is considerable evidence that prenatal exposure to endocrine-disrupting anti-miscarriage drugs such as diethylstilbestrol (DES) may also be positively associated with transgender outcomes, though research in this area has yet to establish a firm causal link.
There is a digit ratio of the right hand that is sexually dimorphic. Different between males and females, and is affected by prenatal androgens. The mean ratio for men is roughly 0.947 and the mean ratio for women is 0.965. My ratio is 0.964. I’d say that’s a strong case for something going on hormone wise while I was in the womb.
Anyway, back to the topic. I did not choose this. In fact, as you’ve all read, I spent most of my life trying to bury and hide what I am. I did choose to finally stop doing myself harm, and finally admit to myself, and everyone else, who I am. I also chose to live my life authentically, and that means transition. I’m not choosing to transition, it comes with needing to be me. It may seem like semantics, but words can be important.
It’s not a lifestyle either. Any more than being male or female is a lifestyle; or being left handed or right handed; or being brunette or blonde. My lifestyle has changed a bit now, but not drastically. I dress a bit better (I’m more fashion conscious than I was before), and pay more attention to how I look. But those are pretty minor changes. I still play computer games, look forward to camping again this year, spend time on my art projects, love my wife with all my soul, write, read, etc…
The problem with thinking it’s a choice or a lifestyle is it implies there’s no ‘need’ to do what I’m doing: transition. It makes it sound like what I’m doing is selfish, a ‘want’, and in flagrant disregard for those around me. This is so far from the truth it hurts. I need to transition. For the betterment of those around me.
Self-efficacy is the strength of belief in one’s own ability to complete tasks and reach goals. It affects every aspect of human endeavour. Part of the strength of this, comes from our self-esteem. And that self-esteem is how we view ourselves. If we are false in our view, we weaken our own self-efficacy, and limit our ability to function in society. When we are true (and this is why so many people emphasize a need to be true to yourself) we increase our self-worth, our self-esteem, and our self-efficacy.
By being true to myself, I am enabling myself to function better in this world, in this society. My relationships will all be better for it, at least from my end, and that’s all I can control. You can either accept the real me, or not.
– Jess
The discussion around choice, and selfishness always seems to come up … it just seems to be hard thing for people to accept that it's really just a matter of relaxing to be who you are. You can use a lot of analogies to compare it to a medical need, a mental illness, whatever … but some people just seem to be stuck on the fact that it's a conscious choice to do something about the situation – and those people think that it's the wrong "choice".