So today, I went to a support group. Less than a year ago I would have laughed at the idea of me going to group. Not gonna happen ever. And yet, I needed no outside incentive to go. Willingly I went to be in a room of strangers (maybe 6 I thought as I drove downtown) to talk about myself in front of them, and listen to their stories in turn.
Well, it was more than 6. I think there were 13 of us in the room. There was me, and the psychologist. and then V, L, Ak, S, P, R, J, M, C, Ar, M. I am completely surprising myself by actually remembering everyone’s name. That is HIGHLY unusual for me, where I usually forget one person’s name minutes after hearing it. Guess I may actually like these people. 🙂
My ear had been bugging me all morning. I have a Eustachian tube issue in my left ear (still waiting for referral) that causes a VERY annoying echo, and makes it hard to concentrate while talking, and also hard to maintain my voice. Some strange stroke of luck had it clear up minutes after group started.
Which was really a good thing, since stupid me decided to sit right beside the psychologist, so guess who got to introduce herself first? *raises hand*
I didn’t hesitate, which was good, but my voice was quavering quite a bit. I think I managed to spit the salient points out of where I’m at in transition and kinda summed up 4 months in about 5 minutes. I would have preferred to answer questions instead of try and come up with an intro.
Most of the girls were like me in their introduction. A few went quite a bit longer which was nice to see. I want to get to that point where what I’m saying comes out logically and is not jumping different trains of thought across 5 or 6 tracks. A couple others were very short and concise in their introduction, but no less interesting.
I won’t go over what was said in any detail. Lets just say, like I thought, I really don’t have much to complain about in my transition. I wish I could be more helpful to some girls about how I’ve overcome things, but there hasn’t been so much of that. I wound up with confidence when I accepted myself. No idea how. I have completely supportive family. I didn’t do that. 99% of my friends are awesome – I picked them, but didn’t make them think any particular way.
Sure, I have my issues. Most of them are internal stuff that I share with those closest to me (way before they make it onto my blog). But most of my battle was over without being fought.
At the end of session, I really got to chatting with M, whom I think I really like, and will be pursuing a friendship with as soon as I get contact info. I also got to chat a lot with the psychologist. She seems genuinely interested in just how smoothly my transition is going. AND… she signed my gender designation change form!!!
So, yep, looking forward to next session. Hopefully will have new things to share with group. Like a new birth certificate and driver license.
Hugs,
Jess