Hey everyone,
I know I haven’t written much lately. I have been working on a multi-part post, but it’s a complicated subject and I’m trying to get it just right. So, I thought in the meantime, I’d post an update.
Boobs. Yep. I have em. This time they don’t seem to be decreasing in size. Pretty sure they’re now here to stay. Can’t say that I’m unhappy with my growth at all. There’s a few visual things I’m still hoping for, but at a 38C on my frame, I’m totally okay if they don’t grow anymore. I’m also totally okay if they do. *lol*
My estrogen level is 167 pmol/L as of February 1st, 2016. Lower than I was expecting 11 months after starting hormones. I test again in a couple weeks, and then my prescription bumps up 50% over what I’m on now. I’m finally into puberty range (130 pmol/L) and my libido responded in kind. It is, not quite, but almost entirely completely different than when it was testosterone driven. Which I am quite happy for.
My potassium level was elevated again. As I’m no longer on Spironolactone, we’re not sure of the cause of this. My next test will determine if I’m just naturally high in K, or if it’s trending higher again. Which isn’t good. Trying very hard to stay away from any K rich foods – avocado, banana, etc… (not giving up potatoes).
Body hair has definitely slowed down and decreased. My arm hair is barely noticeable, and back is the same. Stomach and chest hair grow in so slow now, and they’re not all that detectable. Pretty happy with this.
Facial hair doesn’t really seem to have slowed. I’ll have to continue electrolysis at some point. Hopefully this year. Possibly laser to get rid of the shadow inducing hairs anyway.
Muscle mass hasn’t seemed to have changed since I had my major loss months ago. Strength seems to have stuck at that level and not decreased more. Endurance is back now that I’m off spiro.
Weight gain was a bit of a problem with this last prescription. Gained about 15, and have lost 10 of that again as I neared the end of the 3 month scrip. Fighting to get under 200 lbs. I’m guessing part of that is the fact my breasts have weight to them.
Mood. This one has been tough the last prescription. I was having peak/trough problems until about the last 2 weeks. When I’d put a new patch on, the next day I’d cry at *least* 5 times, and have manic periods as well, but mostly crying and depression. Then even out, and then repeat. Every 3.5 days. Pretty much had 20 PMS days in a 3 month time frame. On top of that was still having menopausal night sweats and hot flashes.
Skin is SOOOO soft. Can’t get over how much of a change there’s been in the last few months with my skin. I can’t stop stroking it.
Other things…
I got invited to participate in a transgender study out of the university of western washington. It’s just a visual study, so they wanted a photo only. But it’s an interesting idea they’re looking at, and I’ll be allowed to see the results.
I informed work of my intention to leave the landscaping industry. My boss was very understanding, and almost made me cry. I’m under no pressure to stay longer than I need, or leave sooner than I can. So that’s a huge thumbs up.
I’m still heading towards gender confirming surgery this year. I’ll be one year on hormones March 4, 2016. And one year “Real Life Experience” May 2nd. Though, that’s a bit unclear, as I was out at work, I was just presenting male. I was presenting authentically at all other times since December 24th, 2014. Close friends are now starting to go for their gender confirming surgeries, and my trepidations about the surgery have shifted into a mild excitement.
I’ve started going out most times without a wig. Just a hat or headscarf with my own hair. I’m pretty happy with how that’s going. My hair is quite curly now for some reason, and I like that. It definitely looks more feminine than it used to. The top is still coming in, slowly but surely, as are the temple areas. I’m excited to see how it will look in another year. At worst, I should finally be able to use a weave or partial wig.
Dysphoria is pretty low most days now. I still have my off days, but I think everyone on the planet has those. I genuinely see a cute woman staring back at me from the mirror. Sometimes I wonder if I’m deluding myself, but then I think, ‘does it matter?’ Some days I can’t see any sign of James, and those days make me very happy. Days when I do still see him, though? I’m still pretty good, funny enough. Days when I only see him are rare indeed – like twice in the last 365 days.
I think that’s pretty much everything. Life is still interesting, and I’m still having new experiences. Hoping to share some of those soon with the blog post I’ve been writing for about a month.
Love to you all,
Jess