80 – Faith in humanity

Sometimes when life really has you and those around you down, something happens to restore you, to rebuild some of what’s been lost. Just such a thing happened yesterday at lunch in a seafood pub.

Being unemployed, and trying to deal with my blood clots has left me with a fair bit of free time on my hands, so I’ve been visiting friends as much as possible. It staves off the depression I get when home alone.

Headed out to my friend Jackie’s place for lunch, and we were joined by another friend, Rachel. In our own ways, we’ve all been beaten up a bit over the last few days, weeks, months. This was a chance to just get out, chat, and try and not dwell on the shit, just shoot it.

We wound up staying for about 2 hours, enjoyed the food, and the company. Didn’t notice any strange looks from anyone. Something I still look for. Presenting as visibly transgender now, I try to gauge those around me, and their reactions. As usual, everyone just seems to accept us.

Finally deciding to head out, as Rachel has an appointment to get to, we ask for the bills and start settling up. This is where things got interesting. After we just finished paying, a gentleman comes over from another table and offers to pay for all 3 of our lunches. We’re all kind of stunned by this, but ultimately, we agree it would be rude not to accept. (a policy I have long maintained – if someone offers you something, accept it. Including compliments.).

He goes back to his table after patting me on the shoulder. He had a genuine look of remorse in his eyes as he made the offer. It was all very surreal. We ask the waitress if she knows the gentleman, but no, she’s never seen him before.

So, as we tried to figure out with the waitress, how to reverse the transactions we’d just done, Rachel went over to talk to the man. She shakes his hand after a bit, and comes back. The look on her face was a bit of shock, and a lot of emotion. She explains that he’s American, and feels really bad about what’s going on in the USA with the bathroom bills and all. Feels it isn’t right, people should just be allowed to live their lives.

Then of course, the 3 of us got weepy. I went over to ask him his name, because I wanted to mention it in this blog. He said his name was Peter, and then he came over and talked to all 3 of us again. Reiterating what Rachel had explained. Peter said that he wanted to make some gesture to apologize, essentially, for his countrymen. He said he just really supports transpeople, wasn’t gay, and just wanted to make the gesture.

We thanked him again, and he patted me on the shoulder again, as he left.

It really affected all 3 of us. In differing ways I’m sure. I won’t speak for my 2 friends, but for me, it just left me feeling optimistic about the future of society in general. Obviously with the ‘not gay’ comment, he doesn’t fully understand what it means to be transgender, but that doesn’t change the fact his heart was in the right place at all. It shows that even without understanding, you can support and accept. This is something a lot of cisgender people need to realize. Peter already has that part down.

Thank you Peter, for brightening our day, and our lives. <3