97 – Small Town USA

On October 22nd, 2018, Melissa and I took a plane from Vancouver to Chicago. Then, we took a stretch limousine from O’Hare to Harvard, Il. And, just like that, I was in small town, Midwest USA for the first time. And, I was there with my girlfriend to meet her mother.

Where I grew up, small towns were still quite a bit larger than Harvard. The municipality I grew up in had over 100K people in 1976, and it felt like a small town to me. The population in Harvard is just under 10K. As Melissa likes to say, they don’t even have a Starbucks.

As a transgender woman, the whole prospect of going to small town USA was daunting. Made worse by the current climate in the US re: trans people. I was worried about verbal abuse more than anything, but the chance of physical violence was also a very real fear. 

I am happy to report that all those fears and worries were for naught. The trip was bereft of incidents. Which meant that we were both able to enjoy the visit for what it was. A chance for Melissa to show me where she grew up, and to introduce me to her Mom.

It was so cool to have Melissa drive me around town, as she fought to remember places and directions.  To see her have some good memories from a time that has a lot of hurt for her, meant a lot to me. And to meet her Mom was the pinnacle of the trip.

We drove by schools that she went to, houses that she lived in, places where she had accidents (both vehicular and physical). Went to the computer shop she worked in and talked to her old boss. Had some pretty great food. Even saw the plastic cow named Harmilda.

Probably my favourite memory of the trip, though, was walking the Rush Creek Conservation Area trails. The two of us, hand in hand, walking through fall foliage. Clear blue skies looking down at us. Birds chirping, squirrels scurrying. So much happiness contained in that memory.

A close second for favourite memory, was the girls’ day out. Melissa, her Mom and I went to a neighboring town to go shopping during the day, and then dinner out after.

We hit 3 different stores. I don’t remember the name of the first one. Missy and Debbie both found stuff at that store. Then we hit Dress Barn, where I got a couple things. Finally, we went to Kohl’s and Missy and I both got a few more things. At every store, we were gendered correctly, and everyone was very friendly.

Dinner was pretty great too. A quaint little German restaurant called, “Heritage House.” One of those places where everyone knows everyone else. Not quite “Cheers”, but not too far off either. 🙂

I had wiener schnitzel with fried potatoes. This had an interesting effect on me that I was not expecting. I actually got quite emotional as a memory was triggered. The fried potatoes took me back to my childhood. To dinners cooked by my grandma. I didn’t actually remember those potatoes until I tasted them. The memory slowly took over my emotions. Happiness, sadness, and loss all rolled into me. I definitely teared up. 

We also met with 2 of Melissa’s friends. One from her earlier childhood and one from later. It meant so much to me to be able to go on this trip with Missy. I wish we had more time to do all the things, but there’s never enough time to do all the things.

There will be more visits. <3