I wanted to chime in about a few things that Teresa mentioned in her Insecurities post, but didn’t want to do it as a comment that might get lost in the shuffle.
It’s interesting how, her insecurities, have led her to withdraw and close off in the past, much the same way my being transgender did for me. Being true to yourself is not something the LGBT community has exclusive rights to. Everyone can feel judged, or rejected – but likewise, those same people can feel accepted and supported.
The comment Teresa received earlier in life, when she had lost weight, and gotten healthier, totally destroyed the positive impact. That one comment has echoed in her mind for 20-odd years. It has made any efforts on her part to get healthier again, a huge uphill struggle (of which she gets no bonus calories burnt). It can turn into self-sabotage when she does make progress as well.
The comment, “Turn around and you’ll find it,” about lost weight, probably sounded very funny in the mind of the person that said it. I’m sure it wasn’t meant in a negative way. But, this is one of those cases where meaning and perception are very different.
Teresa, in turn, has had problems coping with her insecurities, and not taking them out on me. As others have done to her. Sometimes, when I’m looking for reassurance about my appearance (I’m not always very confident about how I look) she’ll throw jokes back at me. This is a hard habit to break, as she grew up having this done to her. I’m sure I’ve even done the same on some occasions.
It’d be nice, if we could all, collectively, stop putting other people down – whether it be on purpose or inadvertently. Let people be happy.
Cheers,
Jess