Last night my Dad got to meet me for the first time. It is a night I will never forget, and will cherish it forever.
Got dressed at home, and as per the wife’s request, went with ultra casual: T-shirt, jeans, hoodie, and ankle boots. Didn’t want to over do it. To be honest, I’m totally into the casual thing now, all done over compensating for years of ‘maleness’.
Drove out to Dad’s, parked, took a deep breath, got out, walked up to the front door, took another couple deep breaths, and rang the doorbell. Door opened almost immediately with my Dad’s smiling face behind it. Instantly any small amounts of apprehension I had were gone. *poof* It felt amazing. Hugs ensued, from Dad and his wife. This wasn’t new, but it felt new and good. I’m so totally a hugger.
Teresa was supposed to be with me, but was suffering from a bad head cold and opted out after a poor night’s sleep, and feeling worse than the night before. There was a silver lining in this, but I still would have rather had her there.
After getting settled, we chatted a bit in the kitchen as some cooking was still being taken care of. Then the 3 of us moved into the living room. Normal chit chat was taking place, as if nothing was amiss. Other than Teresa not being there, that is. I don’t mean to imply that something was amiss, and we were ignoring it. Me finally being me just wasn’t an issue.
We talked about various things before and during dinner. How Teresa was doing, not just with her cold, but with everything life’s thrown at her lately (me included). Talked about how her Mom is still having issues with me. That will take some time. Dad and I are going to a hockey game in a couple weeks, with tickets from Teresa’s work. Originally Teresa had wanted me to go as ‘James’, but recently changed her mind. Her concern was that 2 other co-workers would be there, and she hasn’t outed me at her work yet (other than to her boss). I’m glad she changed her mind. I can bear going to work as ‘James’ but socializing is a different story. I want to be me while socializing. 🙂 Besides, ‘James’ is horrible at it. lol.
After eating way too much, and Dad did too, we discovered a hockey game was on TV. So, Dad and I helped clean up the table, and then went down to watch the game, while Dad’s wife stayed upstairs. I totally realized this was on purpose, but I don’t think my Dad did. 🙂 It gave us time to be alone together. I think it was something we needed, and we actually had a really good conversation.
Of course it was mostly about transition, and things associated around that. I’ve been having some changes in eating habits, and he asked if I’d noticed any other changes. Obviously fashion, he said. LOL. Talked a bit about how I wasn’t needing to dress to the nines every day, like I said, I was overcompensating. Mentioned how I wasn’t as introverted, and could talk about myself and my feelings openly.
Talked about surgeries and what they entailed, and if I planned to get all of them (another topic – soonish). What hormone replacement therapy would be like. How I felt overall. Talked about how I’d be losing my ‘male privilege’, which was something I hadn’t even thought about until Teresa and I watched a few trans documentaries that talked about it. Talked about how I would need to be more careful now, no more walking alone on dark streets.
Just a really good conversation. And we talked about hockey too of course. 🙂
His wife came down after a while too, and we all talked a bit more. Had dessert, and lots and lots of coffee. I stayed until almost 10, and then had to drive home to take care of Teresa.
I was left with a warm all over, fuzzy feeling from the night. It was a very good night.
Lots of Love,
Jess