Sorry for the delay in posting. Between communicating with the people important to me, and just recovering in general, I’ve not had the time or energy to write. I’m going to summarize the days after this day into one post, but this day was special.
Day 11 in Montreal, Saturday May 19th – 5 days post op.
This morning I was going to get to see the result of surgery. Until this point, all I’d been able to see is a bunch of blood soaked gauze. and some bruising on my thighs.
I went down for breakfast at 8am, and with not much of an appetite, had a couple boiled eggs, some bacon, and some cottage cheese. I asked to have a couple Gravol just in case I got dizzy or squeamish. I let another girl go ahead of me, because I wanted to make sure the Gravol took effect.
When it was my turn, I was taken in to the examination room. There were 2 nurses present (1 was in training). I was offered a cold compress for my forehead, which I happily accepted. I don’t do well with body alteration. I got queasy when I got my ears pierced, and this was a bit more major than that.
While the nurse snipped away the stitches holding the gauze, she was explaining what she was doing. I just closed my eyes and tried to calm myself. It was over pretty quick. She then offered me a mirror so I could have a look.
I wasn’t nearly as anxious as I’d thought I’d be. For over a year, I’d been telling people I was worried about seeing it the first time and throwing up or fainting. I’ve had a lot of close friends go through this procedure before me, and knew what to expect, but even still I had that worry about how my brain would ultimately react to what it saw.
The reaction I had was not expected. It wasn’t euphoric. It wasn’t fainting. It wasn’t throwing up, or getting dizzy, or even happiness. It was pure acceptance. My brain is usually an asshole to me. This day – it wasn’t.
I saw my vulva for the first time (the vagina reveal was the next day) and my brain just took it in, and went, “yep, that looks right. I’m good.”
The work that Dr. Brassard did was phenomenal to say the least.
Dr. B is a genius