13 – Telling the parents part 2 (Dad’s reply)

Today I got the best email I have ever gotten. It was from my Dad, and it was his response to me telling him that I was transsexual not bi-gendered.

This is what he wrote: (some minor editing on my part for readability – re-edited since it somehow got worse to read)

Hi Jessica,

Sorry I haven’t got back to you sooner. I’ve been busy with <deleted for privacy>. It’s been busy.

Thanks for the detailed, open, honest, heartfelt message about yourself, Jessica.

I finally understand where you’re at. You are a girl and a woman, and James the male is no longer an issue for you. Now, that, I can understand. I couldn’t understand about you being ‘bi gendered’. It makes more sense now that you have clarified that within yourself.

I am so glad that you are finally happy. Please, Jessica, know that you are loved, and loved more than you know. I am really proud of your courage in coming out. You cannot help who you are. Please do not feel sorry about any of this. There is nothing to feel sorry about. Like you say so eloquently, we all need to be ourselves.

We all need to be confident in ourselves, self-assured so we can live a rich and normal life. It’s me that should be apologizing for not crafting a better rapport with you so we could really talk about these personal issues a lot earlier in life.

Anyways, I am determined to support you on your journey, you are still my daughter and i am committed to accepting who you are. I will always love you no matter what and wherever your journey takes you.

<removed for privacy>
Lots of Love
Dad

There are so many parts of this message that mean a great deal to me. The use of Jessica, calling me a girl and a woman, and finally his daughter. Of course this would be the response of the man who raised me. I knew it would be deep down. So, why was I so distrustful of my own intuition? It’s a problem that has plagued me for a long time, and I think I figured it out. Would you trust someone who lied to you as much as I’ve lied to myself? Probably not. But that is changing, in both respects.

I also had a nice half hour chat with Dad when I got home from work. It felt good to be myself, on the phone, with him finally. There’s still a lot of getting used to the new arrangement for the both of us, and also including our spouses as well. But any negativity is completely gone, nothing but positive, supporting love going forward.

– Jessica